- breaking up ... ?

when we’re on the outside looking in at a broken relationship , we’re soo quick to say “why don’t you just leave him ?” , “that couldn’t be me , i’d fuck that nigguh up” and blah blah blah… . but once you’re in the predicament it’s another story . because , love is blinding … the person you’re with could be abusive verbally , and physically … a cheater , a liar , a drug addict and we’ll still cling to the fact , that “he’s only hits me when he’s mad.” , “he’s not like that all the time.” , “he’s a nice person when he’s not high!” , or the famous “but, i love him.” but after awhile … love becomes an excuse, rather than a reason . after being in a relationship for a certain amount of time, you’re bound to get comfortable… and the thought of being alone terrifies you . or it may be the process of starting over with someone else that scares you shitless, and some people’s dignity, and self esteem was destroyed to the point that they feel no one will love them , so they might as well just stay in the relationship they’re in, no matter how damaging it may be to them . i am determined , so in relationships i go hard, and even once they start to go sour i still be tryingg hard as hell no make it work, and if i love that person enough, i will NOT give up on them . i aint no QUiTTER ! lmao . - but breaking up with someone and giving up on someone is two different things , and i’m beginning to learn the difference . sometimes, breaking up with the person you love is the best thing you can do for your relationship , so they can get themselves together on their OWN time, and they might even get it together quicker single, than they would with you pressuring them , and you’ll be able to be more at ease, being that the pressures of being in a relationship is lifted off your shoulders. lmao, it’s so easy talking about it, the hard part is actually doing it , it’s looking in the eyes of the person you love and telling them that you can’t do it anymore, and listening to them say “they’ll change” and them begging you to stay, it’s wondering if this time they’re really serious, about getting it together, or if they’re just tryna talk you off the ledge, and it’s looking in their face and leaving without knowing . most , people can make it to thee door, and might even open it, but are strong enough to actually walk out of it .. . to keep it a buck, i’m a part of the 68% percent of people who open the door, but never walk out … lmao . but i’m learning, and if i’m learning … you can too .

the next part is being broken up with … now this is easier than breaking up with someone but it hurts wayy more ! - when someone is kind up pulling themselves from the relationship, and pushing you away .. it hurts, you feel as though it’s your fault , it must be something you’re doing to make them wanna leave. and when you know you’ve given your everything and a little bit more, you feel worst, because your best isn’t enough . and then you’re left questioning whether or not you should just let them go or hold on to them … ither way you’re left hurting . because the person you has already emotionally withdrawed themself from the relationship, while you’re sitting there fighting and carrying the weight of the whole union on your back … smh , it just SOUNDS emotionally draining doesnt it? lol .

now ,to me, that’s too much work .. and i find it easier to ju not deal with relationships altogether , 5O said “this relationship shxt , is too much for me, i rather fuck , be friends and live comfortably” lmao . i run from love , but that shxt caught up to me … soo.. yeaa ,buh bye lovesss . =]